All that worrying for nothing!

I'm so amazed over these past two days! Today we got our fertilized report! 24 eggies fertilized! WOOOOHHHHOOOOO! But we recieved even better news! They all have Timmy's DNA! I'm so relieved, so excited, so ready for transfer day! Grow babies grow! We will be having transfer either Saturday or Monday!! We are hoping and praying for a day 5 transfer! The nurse said that its very likely since we have so many fertilized, which is also what the doctor said! I can't believe we are so close to being pregnant!

I am so thankful for all the support I've gotten through all of this! My momma has been amazing and even though she tries to hide her excitement I think she's ready to be a granny! Hehee..

I am also so thankful for the support of my best friend! I can talk to her about it all and she is always so supportive! Plus she has one little firecracker daughter who always makes me smile!

And the person who I am most thankful for is Timmy! He has been my support through this all! He has been my positive support through this all and has always made everything work! I never have to worry around him! <3

Also I'm so thankful to find an amazing amount of girls on babycenter who are going through IVF with me! They have been super supportive!

Thanks everyone who has been so supportive!!!

Amazing

Well today was ER day! Let me tell you it was a good day! It was sooooo much pressure/pain, but I made it through! I'm such a wimp lol, but I did it! The first count I heard was 10, then 13, then 18. Before I knew it it was over. I thought dang thats a lot. The doctor wheeled my bed back to recovery where Timmy was and he said they are still back there counting. I was what. I was puking I'm guessing from all the cramping or something I don't know YUCK! Then the nurse came in and asked if we had heard the final count and we said no. She said that there was 31 eggs! I said seriously 31 and she said yeah! OMG I can't believe we got 31 eggs! Tomorrow I will hear how many fertilized and at that point I will know if Timmy's sperm was able to be used or if we had to use our donor sperm! Then on Saturday we will hear if we are going for a day 3 transfer, which will be Saturday, or a day 5 transfer, which will be Monday! I'm just so relieved that this part is over and we are going to our next step! But thats all for now. I'm still so sleepy from only 2 hours of sleep last night plus the meds! :-)

Up late again..

Maybe if I get this outta my system I will be able to sleep tonight and tomorrow! I'm seriously having a panick attack.

I'm flipping out. I'm so freaking scarred. I can't help but cry! I keep running through all these what ifs. What if it doesn't work. What if Timmy doesn't have any sperm on Wednesday. What if I ovulate before ER takes place. What if something goes wrong with the anesthesia. What if none of the eggs fertilize. What if people are able to tell that we used donor sperm. What if people question it. What if people critize me when they find out we did IVF and didn't tell anyone. Then the what ifs come and people get mad that I don't tell anyone we are pregnant. Then it comes to all those concerns that happened to me as a child. How can I keep my baby safe at all times. How will I be able to trust anyone with the baby. I'm so lucky that I will be able to be a stay at home mommy and still get my bachelors degree in Early Childhood Education, but I'm freaked for the day that I will have to leave our baby with anyone. My momma never could tell anything happened to me so what if I can't tell from my child. ERRRRRR.. I hate him. I hate what he did to me. I can't trust a damn sole because of that shit. ERRRR. I get more pissed everytime I think about it.

For the record we do plan on hiding our pregnancy from most people because I know people are gonna critize us and the way we live with my momma and all that. We have our reasons and my momma is so supportive of us going through all of this and is happy for us. I know others shouldn't matter, but it does. Its been that way all my life. People critize everything I do. People say shit behind my back. I just don't want people knowing about us. How do I get to keep it a secret from the in-laws yet let my MIL and FIL be apart of our child's life?

I wish I had answers for all of these! I don't know what to say or do. How will I be able to handle all of this. What if I'm not a good mommy?! I'm so scarred. I'm terrified! This is something I've wanted all my life so why am I feeling like this? I wish I knew. :-/

I'm so excited for all of this, but I'm so scarred. Its too late to turn back now. I hope once things start happening and then once I"m pregnant I will be able to relax a little bit.

1 year and 7 months...

I can't believe how close we are to the finish line!

Tonight and Tomorrow I get 3 more shots. My Follistim of 100IU, Ganirelix, and Luveris. Then I will get 2 Ovidrel shots on Monday at 7:30pm!

Then on June 29th I will be going in for ER! :-) We will find out if Timmy has sperm or if we have to use our donor sperm. We are praying for Timmy to have some so we can use it!

On July 2nd or 4th we will be having ET! Depending on how many eggs and how many fertilize will depend on the day. It will be either of those days!

Then on July 15th I will be going in for my BETA! We are truely praying for a miracle! After a year and seven months of TTC we will be at our last option! This will be the day our lives change one way or another. Praying it all works out!

Well thats all for now! <3

Just received a phone call!

The nurse just called and downed my dose of Follistim and I start my Ganirelix and Luveris tomorrow now instead of Friday. And my dumb ass didn't even ask why.. WOW.. Looks like I'm gonna call tomorrow since its to late today and find out why. Wondering if it had to do with my bloodwork. hmm More to know tomorrow, but won't update til I get back. :-)

Wonder if this mean ER will be sooner than planned.. hmmm..

Yippee

Everything is moving along soo fast! We had our first monitoring today and everything looks great! :-) I have like 9-10 follicles in my right ovary and 9 in my left! They are all between 7-10 I believe he said and my uterus lining is good! :-) I'm so excited! We are headed camping this evening then we gotta come back on Saturday for another doctors appointment! Not sure whats gonna happen next, but I'm siked! On Friday I start m Ganirelix and Luveris! Moving along just fine! <3 Thats all for now! Gotta get more laundry done before we leave!

We're rocking now!

Well I finally got my complete schedule! WOOHOOO!!
I have tonight and tomorrow night BCPs! Then I'm finished with those!
Then Saturday I start Follistim 225 iu! Which will make my follicles grow!!
Then back to the office on the 22nd for my first monitering, which includes and u/s and b/w! Then we will be starting more shots, which are Ganirelix and Luveris! :-)
ER(egg retrieval) will be on or around June 30th!!!
ET(embryo transfer) will be on or around July 3rd!!! Which means I will probably be in bed taking it easy on the Fourth, but it will be totally worth it!!
Then we will have our TWW and we should find out if it all worked around July 18!!

We are super excited! All of this is moving along super fast!

As for today we only had an u/s and my overies and uterus is good, nice and quiet! He said there are lots of eggies that are ready to GROW!!!

Thats all for now! <3

Their here!!

All my medicines are here!!!! Its sooooo crazy at how fast this is going! I'm super excited though!! But just thought I'd update with a picture. Now just waiting on Monday to get here to to see whats next!!!