Tomorrow morning at 9:30am I go in for my beta. I really have little hope, maybe a tiny little itty bitty piece of me. I swear them damn HPTs are addicting. I took one this morning and well well well another negative. Some girls have given me my tiny bit of hope that blood tests are way stronger than HPTs, but obviously its pretty low to not be detected on the HPT. I wish it was tomorrow evening already and I knew what the answer was.
Today we went up to Brookville lake and it was so much fun! My niece had a blast playing in the sand, being a big girl swimming around on her floatie tube thing. She makes me smile. She looked up at me when we was sitting playing in the sand and said that this was so much fun and that she loves me for bringing her there. It made me tear up! I love her so much, I just want one of my own that can look up at me and say mommy I love you! I wanna take him/her to the lake, let them experience their first time in the sand. The first time seeing all those fish jumping like crazy and Timmy going to try and catch one to show her! Today was an amazing day and I had so much fun, I just wish we would have our little one to add to it as well!
I know that no matter what the outcome is tomorrow I will become a stronger person and that even though we on't get to be a mommy and daddy right now we ill eventually find a way. I have so many questions of if it didn't work. I wanna know why? Can my body not take a pregnancy? What is wrong with me?!!?!?!?! If its positive, I will still be peeing on that damn stick until I see them 2 lines or that word PREGNANT!!
I guess until tomorrow afternoon! I must get to bed. ugh I wish I could sleep.
Today we went up to Brookville lake and it was so much fun! My niece had a blast playing in the sand, being a big girl swimming around on her floatie tube thing. She makes me smile. She looked up at me when we was sitting playing in the sand and said that this was so much fun and that she loves me for bringing her there. It made me tear up! I love her so much, I just want one of my own that can look up at me and say mommy I love you! I wanna take him/her to the lake, let them experience their first time in the sand. The first time seeing all those fish jumping like crazy and Timmy going to try and catch one to show her! Today was an amazing day and I had so much fun, I just wish we would have our little one to add to it as well!
I know that no matter what the outcome is tomorrow I will become a stronger person and that even though we on't get to be a mommy and daddy right now we ill eventually find a way. I have so many questions of if it didn't work. I wanna know why? Can my body not take a pregnancy? What is wrong with me?!!?!?!?! If its positive, I will still be peeing on that damn stick until I see them 2 lines or that word PREGNANT!!
I guess until tomorrow afternoon! I must get to bed. ugh I wish I could sleep.
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